Time will heal the pain

It's been three nights her body curled up in the ground. But the jangling is still in the air.

Before we lowered her coffin down, Ria had asked me to take her collar off.

"It's for a comforter, Mum", she said, smiling bitterly. Now it's been on her wrist, "Jangling ... jangling .... jangling".

 

I stroke her fur that stuck on my black coat hanging in my wardrobe. She left me that fur when I was carrying her like a baby to the hospital. I don't want to brush it off - not yet, maybe never - because that's all her fur I can stroke now.

 

We've been talking about her, laughing and crying at the same time.

She was very arrogant like saying: "I'm the ruler of the world and you all are my slaves", yet was so adorable and we obeyed her. She didn't ask but demanded:

"Let me out ... let me in ... let me in and out ...."

"Don't sit on my sit and don't disturb me when I'm watching the telly. I don't care what programme, as long as it's on"

 "Don't wake me up when I'm sleeping, except for dinner"

 

She never listened to what we had said except "Vienna ... dinner". Then she would come running faster than the lighting.

When I said, "Vienna, don't scratch the chair", she would stop for a second, her head turned around and gave me the look, saying, "Don't tell me what to do or not to do.". Then she started again until I shouted, "Vienna. Stop it".

When we came home after had been out, as we turned the key she would run then standing behind the door meowing, "Where have you been?".

When I went to the loo she would followed me, "Don't close the door and hurry up".

 

When she saw me having food in the lounge, her eyes would follow my hand from the plate to my mouth, her head would go up and down.

"Do you want some?", I used to ask her feeling uncomfortable being watched and dropped a little on the floor. Then she would look at me like saying "What do you think I am?. Give me some respect. I'm not going down there and eat the food off the floor"

She loved to lick the food off my hand. But she didn't mind drinking from the rain puddle in the garden and eating a spider or a daddy long legs. She never knew what a mouse look like. But everytime she looked at the birds she always growled.

 

Everything she did is dancing on my eyes like a hologram, and I still feel a hollow in my heart. We should be glad that now we are free from her slavery. But we miss her so much.

It's too early for saying that we are alright.

But I guess .....

Time will heal the pain.